In a bold move to warn others, a 22-year-old woman recently shared her disturbing arranged marriage experience on Reddit. Pressured by her family to marry a seemingly respectable man with a stable job, she took matters into her own hands after sensing something was off. With the help of a friend, she investigated his online activity and discovered a disturbing side to him—one that was manipulative, sexually inappropriate, and emotionally unstable.
“Arranged Marriage in 2025: Why Girls Need to Do a Full Digital Background Check,” she titled her post. “Somebody DM’ed me saying, ‘Be calm and think radically. We live in the digital age, so try checking his online footprint.’ So I checked everything, and what I got made me realise just how dangerously unvetted some ‘well-placed’ men can be.”
Behind the Job Title: Manipulation and Red Flags
Although the man had a solid professional background, she revealed his true nature through online interactions. “The guy had a professional job, looked ‘respectable,’ but in private? Manipulative, emotionally unstable, sending unsolicited nudes, glorifying self-harm, dismissing consent and obsessed with controlling conversations. I used a friend’s ID to talk to him, and what we found was disturbing,” she said. “All this without us ever flirting or asking for any of it. He was just open like an ocean. Unhinged.”
The woman stressed the importance of not judging someone by their job or family name, and instead suggested observing how they behave when they believe no one is watching. “Old Instagram comments, LinkedIn posts, Reddit history, and interactions with strangers online can often uncover sides of a person that aren’t immediately visible in real life,” she noted.
Red Flags and Community Support
She also flagged emotional manipulation as a subtle yet dangerous behavior. “Some men attempt to gain control by playing with emotions, making others feel guilty or sharing inappropriate and uncomfortable content just to gauge their reaction,” she warned.
Offering practical advice, she added, “If someone becomes angry or uncomfortable when asked to share their social profiles, that in itself is a red flag. If you’re feeling uncertain, it’s okay to use a secondary or anonymous account to get a clearer picture of who they really are.”
Arranged Marriage in 2025: Why Girls Need to Do a Full Digital Background Check (My Story)
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The post quickly drew support and concern. “Stay away, no matter what it takes,” a commenter urged. “Her family? They know everything but choose to do nothing. No one will, or legally can, come to save you.”
Another user suggested, “You can also hire a freelance Cybersecurity expert, he’ll dig up a lot more than just Social Media posts/comments.”
Others shared personal experiences and warnings: “Beware of a manipulative man because I was one of them. I did hurt everybody because of that. So beware. If you feel you are being manipulated, leave that relationship immediately. Don’t get married if you are not financially independent. 22 is too early.”
The Changing Face of Arranged Marriages
While arranged marriages remain common in Indian culture, the approach is evolving. Traditionally rooted in considerations of social standing, education, and family background, today’s marriages increasingly allow for more open communication between partners before commitment. But as this woman’s experience shows, even in modern settings, vetting through digital footprints can be crucial in revealing someone’s true character.
